“She waits only for the present.”

I have been delirious all day,

languid, 

shattered,

exhibiting as little energy as possible, 

and in surreal pain

a body withdrawn from all agency. 

a kind of blanket,

None of this thought is new – 

under which reality is loose and fluid,

the patriarchal eroticisation of passivity, 

during days like this I can barely differentiate

of exhaustion,

between dreams,

of boredom, 

thoughts,

of availability; 

the screen of my phone,

Ready-to-hand, so to speak,–

what is real,

this visual history prevents you 

it is nauseating,

from visualising your experience 

I am horny

because as soon as the image exists

Against a historical silence, 

it falls into this lineage.

my body has found a voice 

My exhaustion can not be visible AND real, 

that I can no longer ignore 

because visibility turns it into a fetish image.

in the face of what is normative. 

The allure of the patriarchal trope of the Reclining Female Nude

Pain is the articulation

collides with the abject chronically ill body 

of a kind of resistance.

(film 5mins)

Showing at Criposium, June 6th-13th 2020

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